From the Outside In
by MarauderNymph
Summary: It's November of HBP, and a distraught Tonks finds an unexpected shoulder to cry on. Hermione recaps the signs she should have seen. RLNT  with a little bit of HGRW, plus Tonks and Hermione friendship


**A/N: Hello! It's been a long time, years in fact, since I posted a story here. This one has been stuck in my head for about a year and a half. I kept returning to it on and off, but was never quite happy. In my post DH part 1 wave of nostalgia, I suddenly felt the motivation to finish this. I hope it's not too long - it wouldn't really work as a chaptered piece, so I settled for fairly epic one-shot :) Do let me know what you think, I've been away from this for a while... :S**

**The story is set in November of HBP. I think it is mostly canon, with a few 'missing moments' that I like to imagine :) The one aspect in which this story diverts from canon is in Hermione's knowledge of Remus and Tonks' relationship. In this version, the hospital wing revalation does not come as a surprise to Hermione...**

**Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Hermione was fed up. For someone with a generally cheery outlook on life she was feeling uncharacteristically glum. The primary cause of her bad mood was currently swooping round the Quidditch pitch. The other reason was sat cheering him on.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Normally on Saturday afternoons Hermione would watch Harry and Ron's Quidditch practise. This Saturday, however, she just couldn't stomach the thought of it.

Instead, Hermione had tried to complete her Arithmancy homework (this was the excuse she had given to Harry when he asked if she was coming down to watch). After fifteen minutes of staring blankly at her scroll and textbook, she decided homework was a lost cause.

This was immensely disturbing for Hermione: when school work could not divert her, she knew that something was seriously wrong.

_Lavender Brown_. Why did she have to suddenly notice Ron now? At the very point Hermione had finally realised her true feelings for him. When she had been building up the courage to find out if he felt the same. Ron was so inscrutable at times that Hermione fluctuated between sensing that he did like her in a more-than-friends way and wondering if her even saw her as a girl at all, let alone a potentially dateable one. Either way, Hermione had promised herself the previous summer that this year, her 6th at Hogwarts, would be the year to find out.

And then _she _came along. With her blonde curls and dizziness and fondness for sickening pet names. After witnessing another puke-inducing spectacle at breakfast (Lavender had fed 'Won-Won' little pieces of toast charmed into the shape of hearts) Hermione had decided that watching her moon over him all Quidditch practise might actually result in projectile vomiting. Or running to the dorm in tears.

Hermione considered herself a practical sort of girl – not prone to histrionics as far as boys were concerned. Trust Ron to be the one who got under her skin and made her crazy with jealousy. He always had taken delight in annoying her.

_Damn him. And her. Bitch._

So it was that Hermione found herself wandering into the Hogwarts grounds with the intention of visiting Hagrid. She was in the sort of mood that is made worse by being alone, but also not helped by spending time with the wrong people. Hagrid, she decided, was the type of person jolly enough to cheer her up. Hopefully he would have some interesting new pet to distract her from her problems. Maybe something that simultaneously breathed fire and expelled green slime... then she could set it on Lavender.

_There you go letting her get to you again... It won't do any good to dwell on things... Just because she's a manipulative stupid cow who stole-_

Caught up in her furious inner-monologue, Hermione had bumped right into someone.

"Tonks! What are you doing here?"

"Wotcher, Hermione. Been patrolling the grounds. Dumbledore's orders. Just come off duty actually..."

Harry had mentioned Tonks' oddly gloomy demeanour and mousy hair, but Hermione was still momentarily stunned to see the usually rainbow-coloured Auror looking so drawn.

"Sorry I walked right into you – lost in my thoughts." Tonks muttered, rubbing her eyes. She looked as though she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Oh, no problem. Me too! Not really, um, focused today I guess."

A flicker of curiosity passed over Tonks' face as they absentmindedly began wandering down the path. (_Thank Merlin the old Tonks still in there somewhere,_ thought Hermione) "What are you doing out here alone on such a fine day anyway? Where are your boys?"

"Oh... just needed some fresh air. They're playing Quidditch. I would have gone to watch but I decided they've got enough cheerleaders already."

Realising that her last comment had come out somewhat bitter, Hermione attempted a casual laugh. Tonks' raised eyebrow and slight smile told her it hadn't worked.

"Trouble in paradise 'Mione? Thought you had those boys wrapped around your little finger. Especially Mr Weasley..." Tonks nudged her.

Part of Hermione inwardly groaned at the fact she had ended up talking about Ron when her mission had been to forget about him for a few hours. Another side of her wondered if talking to Tonks would help. As a witch in her early twenties with experience of relationships, she may be able to cast some light on the Ron situation.

"Ron's found himself a new finger to be wrapped around..." Hermione paused a moment. "Wait, that sounded a little strange. What I mean is that there's a girl. A vaguely psychotic one. And she's got her claws firmly clamped on him."

"Ahh, I see. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Boys are so easily led. Show them something new and shiny and they just go running off."

Hermione snorted an agreement.

"Want to sit down and talk about it?" Tonks asked, pointing at a large fallen tree trunk.

"Yeah, sure. I could use a girly chat." Hermione smiled, which was fleetingly returned by Tonks. _Maybe we can talk about what's wrong with you as well..._

"I'm really not one to be giving out relationship advice right now, but Ron's totally into you."

Hermione scowled.

"No, really. He is. It was one of the first things I noticed about you guys when I met you last year. Trust me, I can spot these things. In Auror training we had special classes on learning to be perceptive, you know – so you can suss out your enemies – so when I meet people I'm always kinda observant."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You use Auror training to figure out who's got a crush on who?"

For a moment Hermione thought Tonks might actually break out into her old raucous laughter, but she just smiled and carried on.

"Yeah it's a bit silly, I know, but it works. He really likes y-"

"I know he _likes _me but-"

"He LIKES you – in a very much more-than-friendship way. Caught him staring at you on enough occasions. Not very subtle." Tonks rolled her eyes and nudged Hermione with her shoulder.

"Really?" Hermione was cheering up already. _If Tonks had noticed something then maybe..._ She shook her head.

"That still doesn't explain Lavender and why he's suddenly so into her".

"'Course it does. He trying to make you jealous... get a reaction. From the looks of it, it's working."

"Yeah, I suppose. Just seeing him with her, it –UGH, it just makes me so MAD!" Hermione stood up and threw her hands into her hair. "Boys can be so, so STUPID!"

"Tell me about it," sighed Tonks, shuffling on the log, "They can be so ridiculously blind to what's obvious. They don't see what's right under their noses and they're so pig-headed and stubborn... thinking they're right and not listening to anyone else..."

Hermione noticed a distinct change in Tonks' voice that implied she was no longer just imparting friendly advice, but rather expressing her own personal frustrations.

_Hmm... does Tonks have relationship troubles of her own? Could that be the reason behind the sudden dramatic change in appearance and behaviour?_

Noticing that Tonks had begun to sink into another deep gloom, Hermione plucked up the courage to ask her. _Perhaps she could use a friend to talk to..._

"Um, Tonks?"

She looked up, brushing her mousy fringe away from her grey eyes.

"I hope it's not rude of me to ask, but is there any chance you're having boyfriend-related trouble too?"

"Hermione-" Tonks began, sounding wary.

"I just mean you've seemed so sad lately and you're usually so bubbly and you seem to have good reason to feel that men are stubborn... it, it just sounded like you were speaking from personal experience." Hermione sat down on the log again.

Tonks turned to her, a small, weary smile forming on her lips. "Yes. You're right, I am. It's been a bad few months to be honest..."

Tears were forming in her eyes, and in that moment she looked so small and defeated that Hermione could have cursed whoever had hurt her this way.

Hermione moved closer and put an encouraging hand on Tonks' arm. "Go on, you can tell me. It might be good to get it all out..."

"I...I can't tell you who the man is. It's really complicated, but... well, it started in early summer last year. I'll give you the simplified version: I met a man, we became good friends. I started to fall for him, we became closer, and I found out he felt the same way. By late summer we were together; it was quite casual at first, we had fun and things were going really well. It was perfect..." A faraway look appeared on Tonks' face, only to fall into a bitter expression that seemed so out-of-place on her naturally friendly face. "Anyway, around May this year a series of events began to occur which put strain on our fairly new relationship. Things happened, things were said, and he left. I haven't seen or heard from him since early September... That's the simplified version. In the non-simplified version I'd also tell you how I was – and still am – desperately in love with him, how he ripped out my heart the day he left and how every night I have terrible nightmares and wake up thinking he's lost forever..."

"Oh Tonks...". She was crying freely now, and Hermione was almost in tears herself. Aside from in books, Hermione had never encountered someone as utterly heartbroken as Tonks was now. It was as if the bright and bubbly, colourful, giddy Tonks of last year had been a complete figment of Hermione's imagination.

_Who could do this to her? How could anyone hurt her so badly? Does he have any idea what he's done?_

Hermione pulled Tonks into a hug.

"I- I haven't been able to met-metamorphose since the day he left... the pink just faded out of my hair and wouldn't come back..." Tonks sobbed.

Whilst hugging Tonks and letting her cry (and trying to think of the best thing to say) Hermione pondered the information she had about the man in question. Tonks had met him the same summer Hermione had met her, the summer Tonks had joined the Order. _Could it be a member of the Order?_ Hermione thought some more. Something had happened in May – _could it have been the events at the Ministry? Sirius' death and Voldemort's public return? _Tonks had implied that the man had gone away... and did her reference to her nightmares mean he was currently doing something dangerous? _All these factors definitely point to a member of the Order..._

Finally having settled on something to say, Hermione began, "Times are hard right now – people can act crazily under stress... It sounds like you two were so happy... Is there any chance he might come back with a changed perspective after his time away? Maybe a change of scene will clear his mind..."

Tonks sat up, wiping her eyes on her woolly sleeve. "No, he knew he had to go away before we broke up.. it was kind of the _reason_ we broke up... What he's doing, why he had to go – it made him see himself differently and- " Tonks waved a hand dismissively. "This must sound so bizarre; it kind of only really makes sense if you know the man..."

Hermione sensed an opening and jumped in quickly but sensitively (she hoped): "Do I?"

Tonks looked confused for a moment.

"Do I know the man? I mean, I don't want to pry, but perhaps if I do know the man and you told me who it was... perhaps I could help more? Or at least understand more of what's happened."

Tonks smiled ruefully. "You do know him. Although a fair few people know we were together, only Molly and Arthur know the details of our break-up. The man – he's a very private person, he keeps so many of his feelings locked away for fear he'll be hurt. I couldn't betray his trust by going around telling everybody why he left me. It's...It's not really his fault..."

"Can you tell me?" Hermione asked in a small voice. "I swear I won't tell a soul; you can trust me."

Tonks thought for a moment, and Hermione could tell she was desperate to spill the whole story, to get it off her chest.

"It's Remus." Tonks looked down, fresh tears forming at the mention of his name.

_Remus Lupin_. Hermione took a moment to collect her thoughts. She was surprised, yes, but now she thought about it there was something oddly fitting about Tonks and Lupin as a couple. Hermione couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there was definitely _something._

_

* * *

_

_The year before: August_

It had been one of _those_ summer days – the type that's just so warm and lazy that you can happily forget about everything except how content you feel at that very moment. Hermione loved those days, and this particular one – surrounded by her friends and the little family the Order had become – had been especially good.

It was the last week of August, and they had been living at Grimmauld Place for over a month. Gradually, thanks to the core group of Hermione, Harry, Sirius and the Weasleys, the house had become fairly hospitable. No more doxies. No more cursed Black family silverware. No more boggarts. Even Kreacher had become somewhat resigned to their presence, and was therefore a little a less abusive.

This particular day was a Saturday. Having made the house bearable, Mrs Weasley had declared that morning that the garden would be the next task. This suggestion was initially met with groans but once Molly had proposed the idea of a garden party that evening everyone happily volunteered. Sirius especially was desperate to get outside; the garden had been so overgrown that nobody had set foot any further than the back doorstep all summer. Hermione was thankful for this; as it turned out, the poisonous varieties of plant outnumbered the safe ones.

It was a Saturday, which meant that almost the whole Order was at Grimmauld: Lupin, Tonks, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Hestia, Emmeline and Mundungus, as well as the house's permanent occupants. Choosing to form groups and tackle a corner each, the garden was tamed by 6 o'clock that evening when Molly brought out platters of sandwiches and cakes. Fred and George followed behind levitating copiously laden trays of lemonade and iced butterbeer (luckily their levitation skills had developed greater precision since their dinner-table knife disaster earlier in the summer).

Dumbledore had dropped in for the party, having been flooed by Arthur. Much to everyone's amusement he had turned up with sunglasses, a floppy hat and sandals accessorising a bright green set of robes. The twinkle in his eyes as he appeared in the garden seemed infectious – suddenly everyone was smiling, laughing, and behaving like any group of friends and family on a hot summer's afternoon.

Rarely for Order HQ there was no talk of Voldemort, the war, the Ministry or recruiting. It seemed that the sun had prompted a change of mood in everybody: Sirius was grinning from ear to ear as he clinked butterbeer glasses with Molly, who was laughing merrily. Arthur was showing Mad-Eye a muggle remote-controlled car – Hermione could have sworn she saw Mad-Eye crack a smile as he took a turn with the car. The twins, Harry and Ron were sprawled on the grass playing Exploding snap. The grim seriousness that had gripped Harry throughout the summer was gone; he was smiling and laughing easily. Hermione and Ginny had sat underneath a large parasol flicking through copies of Witch Weekly, doing the quizzes and laughing at ridiculous articles, including one on "How to Charm your Man into Bed". Apparently this involved far dirtier charms than a simple_ wingardium leviosa_; although Ginny had pointed out that if you were really desperate, levitating the object of your affection towards a bed might help things along. They had laughed a lot..

After they had worked their way through the magazines, Hermione had propped herself up on her elbows and simply surveyed the scene before her, committing to memory the images of her friends on this rare carefree day. It was now 8 o'clock and the summer sun was low in the sky.

It was then that she had seen them, a little further away from the other groups in the garden. Tonks and Lupin were standing close together by a little stone wall that had once formed a flower bed partition. Tonks was holding a beautifully ornate metal lantern, while Remus reached up and tied a wire around the branch of an overhanging tree. He stepped back to let Tonks hang the lantern then held out his palm, where a small flame appeared. Lifting his hand to the lantern's door, he blew the little flame into the lantern and closed it. The light that was cast across that corner of the garden was spectacular; the lantern's coloured panels throwing out shades of green, red, yellow and blue as it twirled slightly in the light summer breeze. But it was something other than the lights that had caught Hermione's attention; Tonks sat down on the little wall and looked up at Lupin, before playfully yanking his arm to pull him down next to her. He smiled at her then, and Hermione had thought he looked younger than ever in that moment; all the humour and charm he had displayed on occasion throughout the year he had been her teacher suddenly poured forward in that one smile. Tonks was grinning back at him, and they held each other's glance for a moment longer than was necessary before she whispered something in his ear and laid her head on his shoulder. They stayed there for a long time, watching the lantern's light flicker across the garden and occasionally turning to one another to speak.

Hermione had felt oddly comforted by this scene. She had known that the pair were friends and frequent partners in Order missions, and she had witnessed a camaraderie between Tonks, Lupin and Sirius; on many occasions throughout the summer, she had ventured downstairs at night to grab a snack or a glass of milk and heard raucous laughter coming from the parlour. Peering through a crack in the door, she would see the three of them sitting in armchairs by the fire, sometimes playing snap, sometimes hearing tales of the Marauders, the firewhiskey flowing freely... That evening however, watching them under the tree, she had wondered if there might be something more between the pair...

Hermione would have given this further thought, but that was one of the last times she saw Tonks and Lupin that summer. Before long she was heading back to Hogwarts with her friends, and the memory of that evening was buried under the horrors that were encountered at school that year.

* * *

_Present Day_

"Hermione?... Um, Hermione?"

Hermione snapped back to the present; she hadn't realised how far she had drifted while recalling that memory.

Tonks was looking at her with a puzzled expression. A single tear was still making its way down her cheek.

"Oh, Tonks!" Hermione quickly threw her arms around the young woman sitting next to her. "It all makes sense now – I _knew_ there was something between you two!"

Tonks pulled away. "Y-you did?"

"Yes!" Hermione recounted what she had witnessed that summer evening. As she spoke, she saw Tonks brighten ever so slightly, re-living the memories of happier times.

"... And I wondered if there was something going on; I remember thinking how perfect you looked together, sitting under that tree. I couldn't quite put my finger on it... And then I was back at school and I thought I must have imagined it all."

Tonks smiled and laughed a little. "I remember that day like it was yesterday... of course I had no idea we were being spied on..." She poked Hermione in the ribs

"I wasn't spying! I mean I didn't _mean _to be sp-"

"I know, I know, relax I was just teasing."

Hermione blushed and smiled at Tonks. "So... what _was_ happening that day?" She was curious now, but she quickly added "Only if you don't mind talking about it, I don't want to push."

Tonks smiled and sat up a little straighter, composing herself.

"I don't mind. It's... It's nice to share the happy times with someone."

She looked up and into the distance.

"I had known Remus for three months at that stage. I had joined the Order in May and we had become friends very quickly. Before I first joined, I had imagined the Order to be a bunch of Mad-Eye's... you know, intense, a bit grim-"

"And constantly vigilant?" Hermione interjected

Tonks laughed, "Exactly. I never would have expected the Order to become my family, my friends. I started to look forward to meetings and missions; despite the threat and the danger, we had a lot of fun at times...

And Remus, well we were paired up for missions almost continuously that first few months, and I began to look forward to those nights above all others. We ended up following so many false leads that most of our missions were basically the two of us sat together for hours and hours huddled under an invisibility cloak in sheds, behind hedges, up a tree..."

"Up a tree? What the-"

"That's a story for another time, 'Mione, trust me" Tonks grinned.

"Anyway, the point is, we got to know each other really well... On top of this, I was bonding with my cousin after almost a life-time of thinking him a murderous criminal, so the three of us were spending most evenings together in the parlour at Grimmauld... Those were some of the best times I have ever known."

Tonks lowered her eyes. No doubt thoughts of Sirius were painful too now. Hermione didn't say anything, but squeezed Tonks' hand as a gesture of support.

"Somewhere along the line I fell for Remus... At some point the friendship, admiration, and silly crush spiralled into head-over-heels-in-love. I fought with myself over it, trying to deny it. After all I had just found this amazing friendship, and I didn't want to ruin it.

Then one night in early August after an Order meeting, Sirius cornered me in the kitchen. He pinned me with that trademark all-knowing Black stare, and that signature smirk, until I blushed and broke down. See, I was in the kitchen trying to get a tea stain out of my favourite dress that I had been wearing that night – it was Remus' turn to chair the meeting so I, um, wanted to look nice... Ridiculous, I know..."

"Not in the slightest. Two years ago I cast charms on my hair and teeth and spent half my savings on a dress for the Yule Ball with the intention of making Ron jealous. Everyone thought I did it for Viktor Krum, but no..."

Tonks smiled, understanding. "Exactly. The things we do, eh?

Anyway, my stupid half-made plan to somehow entice Remus by wearing a dress he had once said was 'nice' fell through dramatically when I threw tea all over myself. You see Remus was giving his report, which meant he was standing at the end of the table with his hands in his pockets and his hair falling into his eyes as he spoke, and he had that tone of voice... you know the one don't you?"

"You know I think I do – I think it's the one that had at least half the female population of Hogwarts suddenly taking an avid interest in grindylows, hinkypunks and boggarts..."

Tonks laughed. "Yes! He manages to be authoritative, yet laid-back, wry and utterly compelling all at once! Needless to say, I was a goner. Plus he was wearing this delicious navy blue jumper over a white shirt... The one that makes his shoulders look-"

Glancing at Hermione's widening eyes, Tonks coughed. "Never mind. So he was giving a report of a mission I had accompanied him on and suddenly, as he mentioned my name, his eyes locked with mine. I could feel the blush rising in my face and he held my gaze as he continued talking. I was so lost in the moment that I didn't realise my mug was tipping perilously until I felt scalding tea spill onto my legs"

Hermione fought a giggle.

"I know! I felt like such an idiot. I yelped, drawing everyone's attention to myself, as Molly attacked me with a cloth while repeatedly asking if I was ok and why I seemed so oddly distracted.

I kept my eyes down for the rest of the meeting, attempting to ignore the fact that Mad-Eye was staring intently at me like I was cracking up and Snape was sneering at me even more filthily than usual.

So, as I said, I escaped to the kitchen as soon as I could, only to be cornered by Sirius. Succumbing to the all-knowing Black stare I freaked out, shrieking at him that he didn't know what I was thinking so he shouldn't pretend to know and that after all nothing was wrong and why today of all days he had to pick on me. Sirius smiled, grabbed my flailing arms, and just said "You should tell him, Nymph. I think you'll find he feels the same way". Then he left the kitchen".

Tonks smiled wistfully.

"Of course later that night I heard him discussing me with Mundungus – I could pick out a few choice phrases... "looked like a teenage girl with front-row tickets at a Weird Sisters gig" and "I think she actually drooled"... but by that point I was ecstatic and far beyond the teasing of my silly cousin..."

"Ooh was that when you got together? Did you tell him that night? What happened?" Hermione found herself utterly immersed in the story. _To think the Order was such a hotbed of romantic drama... How did I miss out on this?_

"I told him. After gathering my courage in a quiet corner of the library I was ready to go and find him, when he came and found me instead. I blurted out everything and when I finally looked up at him he was smiling. And then he kissed me."

Hermione's breath caught in her throat.

"We talked through things and decided not to move too quickly. With the war and his _condition_, we didn't want to make any long-term plans... So we took each day as it came, and things just got better and better. When you saw us at the garden party we had been together three weeks."

Tonks smiled to herself. "That was a perfect evening, I don't think I have ever felt so at ease, and yet I had butterflies in my tummy the whole time... I couldn't stop smiling.

As a matter of fact that was the night that delicious navy blue jumper of his finally ended up on my bedroom floor -"

"Tonks!" Hermione exclaimed. "Rein it in a little, that's my teacher you're talking about!"

Tonks howled with laughter in a way Hermione had not heard since those happy days at Grimmauld Place. "I was wondering how far I could go with this story till you got completely weirded out..."

She smiled, and Hermione smiled back. They sat in contented silence for a moment or two.

Hermione had enjoyed hearing Tonks' story. Although she always tried to put up a sensible, practical front, she was a sucker for a love story... And to think that this one had played out right under her nose... But the giddiness subsided a little when she remembered the origins of her conversation with Tonks. Lupin had left her. One glance at Tonks told Hermione that she too had returned to the brutal reality.

After a moment Hermione spoke again, trying to find the right words. "So when you said he went away... you mean his underground Order work, spying on Greyback and trying to convert the werewolves?"

Tonks nodded, seemingly unable to speak, but Hermione could fit the pieces together herself.

"You said his new task made him see himself differently – you mean he was reminded of the realities of being a werewolf. It must have been awful for him to see how others were living..."

Tonks nodded again. "The first time he came back, I could already see it changing him. He had come back to me, but I could tell he was retreating back into that careful defence he had perfected for years before we got together. And worse than that, he was starting to lose faith in the mission and believe he really was as worthless and dangerous as the Ministry was saying.

He came back one more time, early September. He stayed the night and in the morning I woke up to a note on the pillow. He told me it was over, he was sorry but he couldn't give me what I needed... He said that he was a fool to have let his guard down and fall in love with me..."

Tonks' voice broke again.

Hermione mentally tallied Remus' last visit to Tonks with the last time she herself had encountered him. It had taken her completely by surprise. It was the second week of term and she had been sent by Professor McGonagall to Dumbledore's office to get his signature on a form enabling Hermione to take on some tutoring for first years. (She remembered finding it odd seeing Dumbledore for such a mundane, school-related reason – she had become so accustomed to associating Dumbledore with the Order and the battle of good against evil... In comparison, school admin seemed a little inconsequential...)

The Headmaster had called her into his office before she even knocked on the door. Walking in, she saw a tall, lean figure pacing in front of Dumbledore's desk. A few quiet words were spoken, after which the man pulled a cloak on, raised the hood and turned on his heel towards the door. As he came closer, Hermione recognised him as none other than Remus Lupin. The shadows cast by the hood gave him a haunted look she had never seen before. In the fleeting glimpse she got as he swept by and nodded at her she saw dark rings under his eyes, longer hair, gaunt cheeks and a new scar over his left eyebrow that continued down over his cheekbone. The sickening thought had hit her that it was likely a claw mark, and had only narrowly missed his eye.

Hermione remembered pausing before turning to Dumbledore, struggling to equate the man who had passed her with the slightly shabby yet cheery man who had once prompted Neville to dress boggart-Snape in a bonnet and handbag.

She approached Dumbledore apprehensively for he looked saddened and frail; like a man who had aged very suddenly in a short space of time.

He had looked up at her then, taken off his glasses and wiped them with a cloth.

"I sometimes wonder if the true victims of war are the ones who survive it..."

Hermione had not known what to say, so she stood somewhat awkwardly in front of his desk.

"I have asked too much of that man, and yet I must ask more. In his 36 years he has had only three reasons for true happiness... two were stolen away, and I think I may have just destroyed the third for him..."

Hermione was still not entirely sure that Dumbledore was talking to her; it seemed more of an outward expression of an inner turmoil. So she stayed quiet.

_Three reasons for happiness?_ Hermione supposed the first would be finding his friends at Hogwarts, friends whose loyalty would lead them to become Animagi for him. James was murdered, betrayed by Peter, and Lupin had spent 13 years thinking the traitor was Sirius. They had just been reunited when Sirius had been killed last summer. Hermione imagined the second time of happiness was his teaching job at Hogwarts. It seemed he had found contentment here, back in the place that had first allowed him to fit in. And yet this too had been torn away when he was exposed as a werewolf.

_But the third?_ Hermione had no idea what that might be, or what it was that Dumbledore had asked of Lupin.

Returning to the Gryffindor common room that night, Hermione had decided not to tell Harry and Ron about her encounter with Lupin, or Dumbledore's words. She had never seen Lupin so grim and resigned. Although he had not said it aloud, Hermione knew that Harry worried about Lupin – he was his last surviving link to James, and after losing Sirius only months ago she did not think Harry could cope with fearing for the life of his last surviving father-figure and mentor.

* * *

Tonks was crying again; not the free-flowing emotion that had struck her earlier, but silent tears that were spilling down her cheeks. Her brown hair was floating in the wind, her face was pale with November chill, and heartbreak was evident in her eyes.

Hermione had always considered herself to be excellent at doling out sensible advice. And previous relationship guidance had worked a treat – look at Ginny; Hermione had pulled her out of her hopeless moping for Harry and she had grown into a stunning, confident young woman. Judging by a few not-so-covert glances in her direction, Harry was noticing this too.

She was out of her depth here though. This was not teenage troubles, not the anguish of a misplaced crush... no silly jealousy tactic was going to fix this.

This was _grown up_. This was _love_. Love in all its destructive, heart-wrenching glory. The kind of experience that could utterly break two human beings.

Three images circled in Hermione's head. Tonks and Lupin in the garden on that summer night last year, a picture of bliss. Lupin: cloaked, scarred and grim, heading back to the underground two months ago. Tonks, here, now, dejected.

Hermione remained silent. Various platitudes passed through her head: "It'll be okay"; "He'll come around"; "I'm sure this is just a hitch – you'll be together again before you know it"...

All were hollow and meaningless, and the truth was she wasn't sure that it would be okay. All she could do was wrap her arms around Tonks' shoulders, rest her head against hers, and hope.

* * *

_Six months later_

As the crowd of guests departed Dumbledore's funeral, all leaving in the general direction of the school, Hermione saw in the corner of her eye two figures wandering slowly towards a tree by the lake.

Curiosity flickering within her, Hermione paused for a moment... She wasn't _spying_, she wasn't... She just had to _check_...

Sure enough, a young pink-haired woman was accompanied by a tall man, whose sandy grey-flecked hair caught the late afternoon sun.

They came to a stop by the lake. Remus removed a hand from his pocket, and took Tonks' small hand in his, leading her to sit in the shade under the overhanging tree.

Hermione was too far away to read their expressions fully, but she was sure she did not imagine the flicker of a bright smile crossing Remus' face. He leaned over to whisper in her ear, and Tonks' answering laugh rang out like music across the lake...

He leaned in, and kissed her.

Hermione turned away, and smiled.

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked this! I love stories that show a relationship from the perspective of an outsider, so I wanted to give my own a try :)**

**One thing I wasn't sure of when writing Hermione's visit to Dumbledore's office was whether or not Dumbledore was in residence at Hogwarts in September HBP - was he off horcrux hunting? I can't remember and do not currently have access to my HP books, so I went with him being there :)**

**Reviews of all varieties, positive and negative, welcomed... **


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